Turd in a Foot Bath

And thus, I quietly (and drunkenly) join the legions of creative aspirants, angry-at-dadists and amateur emo-scene bass guitar players whose continued existence appears to revolve solely around whatever joy they derive from clogging the internet with their pseudo-artistic vent and wrong opinions.

I have, until very recently, been somewhat reluctant to do 'this' (where 'this' = poorly presented, barely received, contrite, unwanted and unneeded wankily puked opine, tarted up as poignant 'intellectualism' for the emotional benefit of the common or garden human who has yet to or cannot bear to come to terms with his or her own massive insignificance and the fact that they literally have nothing better to do). I would like to be able to say that this reluctance stems from the belief that anything I could write would be of no use to anyone who might read it, and that those who might value it would never read it. More likely though, it is through fear of the reader being utterly apathetic towards the opinion I didn't have, or that my reader base would inevitably end up consisting entirely of those revolting individuals who drink iced tea, spout utter bollocks from the comfort of their macbook pro and hold 3 different (conflicting) opinions, none of which are their own. However, now, as I find I grow ever more intellectually mature (or as the world grows ever more intellectually immature around me), I am more and more drawn to the idea of raising my voice. A recent conversation with a close friend of mine convinced me that although we cannot, as individuals, hope to change the world, we can and should and must at least attempt to do so. This then will be my cause, or a small part of it.

This then, shall be a blog of corrections which, if implemented, would absolutely improve the world. Unlike other ethically minded blogs, however, this will not be some ditsy, quiche-eating, half arsed affair that reads like a fourteen-year-old's diary. No, this blog is hand cannons at high noon stuff. I'm fond of definite statements: "That film is the best", "You are wrong", "This book is better than that book" etc. One might contend that this is not a good way to hold a view, and indeed, at first notice, it would suggest that I may contradict myself a lot. What you as the reader will come to appreciate is that, no matter how badly I appear to impugn my own prior opinion, everything I write is correct (at time of publication). For many, this will not be a pleasant thing to read (infact, preliminary studies indicate that the act of reading this blog will be almost exactly like lying on broken glass as a lonely and confused teenager masturbates into your ear whilst angrily reciting Plath and weeping over his guilt and disappointment at being born male) but you have my eternal thanks (nominal value 0.0000001p) for faithfully and loyally sticking with it, or to it.

There will also, from time to time, be art. I will never apologise for this.